June 5, 2009

dear jessica,

i'm not a prude or anything, but it really bothers me when someone says god-d*** or jesus *****. Should I say anything to my friends or just let it play out?

Wincing in Wisconsin

Dear Wincing,

If it is your friends who are saying god-d*** and/or Jesus ***** then I would recommend letting them know, maybe at a time that they have not recently said it, that those two phrases bother you. Ask them if they would mind trying not to say it around you. Let them know that you cast no judgement, but that you just don't really like it. If they are a real friend, they will understand. Be sure to let them know that you appreciate their friendship and that you'd hope if you ever do or say anything that bothers them that they'd feel comfortable to tell you.

If it is not a close friend, I would just let it go. Although you clearly know this person (or people) better than I would and maybe there will be a moment when it's appropriate to address the situation in private - especially if you spend a significant amount of time with this person or people.

There are going to be times in life when people say things that are offensive and unfortunately, we sometimes just have to let things go. The best thing you can do is show love and kindness to those who offend you; and most of the time your love and kindness will be noticed... maybe not right away, but people tend to catch on to those who swear and those who don't and quite often, if someone notices you don't use the same words they do, they cut back on using them when you are around.

Seasoned with salt,

jessica