July 20, 2010

Dear Jessica,

My husband loves to French kiss, and I'd really rather not. Well, most of the time, I'd rather not.I don't want to put a damper on things, hurt his feelings, or mess with his ego, but it has gotten to the point where it's distracting to me, and sometimes even a little repulsive.Any suggestions? Or am I just strange?

Signed, Tongue-in-Cheek

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Dear Tongue-in-cheek,

First, don't feel like there is something wrong with you or that you aren't normal. I know you didn't say you felt this way, but I just want to be sure you know that you know this is common and you are not strange. We all have different preferences in kissing styles, and sometimes, they are totally different than our spouse/significant other's kissing style.

Next, there is a good chance that he kisses the same way because it's the way he's always done it. And if you haven't said otherwise, he probably thinks nothing is wrong. The key to overcoming this repetition is to challenge it. I don't mean prepare a 3 point speech where you try to lovingly, yet honestly, tell him you don't love french kissing. I mean, take the lead. Tell him what you like by showing him!

Not only will he probably respond by repeating you, he will probably love the assertiveness. If you start changing it up by taking the lead, you will probably have to suffer through less french kissing and your "together-time" will most likely become more intimate and fun!

Sincerely,

Jessica