August 11, 2009

Dear Jessica,

My husband is really great. Lately, since I've gone back to work, he insists on doing the dinner dishes. That's sweet, except he doesn't do such a great job! After he washes the pans, he lets them air dry. Then, I REWASH them after he's out of the kitchen because they usually have crud left along the edges or on the outside, and sometimes even on the inside. I don't want to discourage him from helping, but I also hate to see him waste his time when I have to redo them anyway! Any suggestions?

Happy Wife

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Dear Happy Wife,

It's great to hear you and your hubby have such a loving relationship. Sounds like you really look out for each other!

Besides the enjoyment of knowing you have clean dishes, do you "enjoy" washing dishes (I, for one, do)? Maybe you could let your husband know that you actually really enjoy washing them and ask if he would mind letting you do the dishes? Tell him that you really appreciate his willingness to help but more than doing the dishes, it would really help you out if he could do this: ______ (fill in the blank) for you instead.

Or if you are comfortable with just telling him what you are thinking and you know he won't take it wrong, let him know what you've noticed about the dishes not being fully clean and see if you can give him a lesson. Make it fun. Teach him how to do the dishes in your underwear (okay that might cause him to not pay attention very much)... for real though, looking for a prime opportunity to teach him might be the best way! And of course, always use the sandwich approach (before and after the "correction" give him lots and lots of compliments, hugs and kisses). =)

Or if you prefer the more subtle approaches... Serve him dinner on an obviously NOT clean plate from the night before. Maybe he will notice it's not clean and it will hit him that he was the one who washed (didn't wash) the plate? Or next time you are at Target, you could pick up a few new dish washing supplies (scrubbies, sponges, etc) and have him pick out one he likes? Maybe that will make him excited about it and pay more attention?

Those are just a few ideas I have.

If any of these ideas work (or some other idea you run across works) let us know! I am sure there are many wives out there with helpful husbands who, with their most thoughtful efforts, are actually causing more work. hehe

Good luck!

Jessica