Here it is, the advice column that you asked for!

I am no expert but am willing to offer my opinion and thoughts on any topic you ask me about. All comments are moderated so submit your questions in any comment field and I will answer them publically on this blog. If you forget to sign your name with an alias (ie: Sad in S.D.), I will make one up for you.
***Oh and leave your comment anonymously (as in, don't use your blogger name, use your fake alias)!!!***

Remember - my advice is free... and you get what you pay for!

Sunday, August 29, 2010

August 29, 2010

Dear Jessica,

What should I do if I shart* myself at work?

Signed,

[Poop] out of luck

*******************

Dear Poop,

I can just imagine that would be an aweful situation to find yourself in. It's one thing to gamble and lose. It's another to gamble and lose... AT WORK!

If you live close enough to your work, I'd use your lunch break and go home to take care of the situation.

Otherwise, if that is not an option, you will most likely have to tell your boss you aren't feeling well and you need to go home. You will most likely still have the "oh crap" look on your face when you tell your boss you need to leave and chances are they won't question you.

To prevent this from happening, try not to "gamble" while you are at work - unless of course you're thinking of sharting on purpose because you are looking for a reason to go home from work early... then touche'!!

Signed,

Jessica

*shart: sh!t poop + fart

4 comments:

Rebecca said...

This is seriously one of the funniest advice questions (and answers) I have ever read. You had me LOL (and I never, ever use LOL unless I really mean it)

PG&E said...

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

debbie Clark said...

Can I take a guess at who wrote you for this advise??

Jess(ica) said...

sure, take a gander! haha